I found myself in a bit of a conundrum the other day while taking the Dufferin bus, or as I like to call it ‘Speed 3’. The Dufferin bus is my most avoided route, due to the high possibility of passengers being kicked off for attempted stabbings of other riders and the recurrence of passengers being kicked off for huffing paint thinner. That being neither here nor there, I ended up on the Dufferin bus this week and my life was not threatened, but I was faced with a question of etiquette and gentlemanliness.
I understand that the male reproductive system has posed a difficult situation for men. I often wonder how they manage to keep their gentleman junk well stored and out of danger. I do, I do. And I understand that spreading the legs out may provide some relief.
But not on the bus. When someone sits next to you. When the someone who sits next to you must cower away from your outer thigh. Here is some shadily taken photo evidence:
I am on the left. The TTC Cowboy is on the right… and left.
I took to the internet to find out the polite response to this. Wording it properly was a challenge, but I inevitably searched for ‘man on bus spread eagle etiquette’. I came across this:
And all I know now is that he can stay that way for 22 hours, as long as I bring ice chips. If I see a man with legs spread eagle on the Dufferin bus in rope constraints, I may have to stop riding the rocket altogether.